Learning how to take life lighter (are you trying too hard?)
When I think about creating a really great life –a life where you are generally content and fulfilled and don’t take things (& yourself;)) too serious– I think about two things:
What’s in your way? What’s blocking you? What’s not working? What are the problems?
What do you need more of? What do you want to call in that is in authentic, honest alignment with YOU? What makes you joyful in this season of your life?
These two steps do not work in succession –as many falsely think!– they work in parallel.
What I have seen many times is that people get stuck and lost in identifying their current problems and tirelessly try to solve them… focusing on them so much that their problems only get bigger and bigger.
The hope underneath this effort (the silent belief) is that by eradicating their problems, they can then finally feel free of worry and embark on living the good life.
I don’t recommend doing this!
While I do believe that many of life’s problems can be solved, I also know this:
⟶ not all problems are meant to –or can – be solved. Some are just lessons and some are things you learn how to live with.
⟶ many problems solve themselves if you allow time and space.
⟶ some problems you solve through actions, some through a perspective shift that you gain once you cultivate more ease in your life.
⟶ an intense solo focus on your problems is the easiest way to burn out and begin to see new problems in places where there were none to begin with.
If you are finding yourself in a place where your problems and worries are consuming you without yielding a forward movement or solution while your “joie de vivre” seems further and further away, here is what I recommend asking yourself:
What would happen if I don’t solve this problem right now?
Can I shelf this issue for a little while and just see what happens?
What new, easier approach can I try - do I need to change my actions or do I need a shift in perspective?
What boundaries do I need with this topic or person so I can live my life more peacefully?
Who can I ask for help?
Remember: You are in charge! Your problems don’t define you!
Now, let’s move on to #2 because I believe that when you are actively and intentionally cultivating more joy, you are fast-tracking your way to a really great life.
Not only is joy the best energy fueler, it also changes your core relationship to your problems.
In fact, your entire relationship to yourself –how you see yourself, what you believe is possible for you, how much you trust yourself, what you attract with ease– shifts into a sunnier space when joy gets a front-row seat in your life.
Think about it this way:
If I show you a canvas full of black dots, all you see if black dots aka problems.
Now, if I take a bunch of bright colors and add a ton of colorful, vibrant dots all over that canvas, the black dots become just a tiny part of the whole picture.
Your problems literally shrink in the face of joy.
That is the power of intentionally cultivating joy, positive connections, pleasure, color, vibrancy, happiness in your life.
That is when life becomes lighter despite there being a few problems.
In my upcoming live, small-group, online 6-week course Joyful-On Purpose, we will dive deep into your story of joy and I will teach you how to cultivate and invite more joy into your life.
Applications are due this Thursday, October 6th.
Get all the details and submit an application (will take you 2 minutes) here.
xox
Caroline