Lessons from Eavesdropping on the Metro North

Today, I'm writing to you from the Metro North train as it carries me from our Connecticut beach town into NYC. There's something about being in motion — trains, cars, biking, walking — that opens my mind. I think better. Bigger. Clearer.

As I settled into my window seat (always a win 💪), I overheard the man sitting diagonally in front of me on what was clearly a business call.

He spoke with determination and purpose. He asked questions with clarity and what sounded like genuine curiosity. And even though this was a professional conversation, there was lightness and humor in his voice.

I found myself thinking how nice it must be to be on the other end of that call.

To collaborate with someone who sounds smart, focused, and knowledgeable.
To be spoken to — even when questioned — with kindness and respect.
To feel like your effort really matters to someone else.

And it made me think about something we don't talk about nearly enough:

How it feels to be on the receiving end of someone's tone.

Because tone is everything.

We can have the exact same thoughts, questions, feedback, or concerns… but depending on how we express them, we create completely different experiences for the people around us.

Then I began to wonder:

How do people feel after interacting with me?

After my kids leave the room.
After a conversation with my husband.
After a phone call.
After an email.

Do they feel rushed? Criticized? Managed? Tolerated?

Or do they feel respected? Inspired? Encouraged? Valued?

What's kind of funny is that I actually practice this with my kids: Speaking with confidence and clarity. Having a strong voice. Being kind in your tone.

But it took me overhearing a stranger on the train to ask myself those questions.

Not necessarily changing what I say — but becoming deeply aware of how I say it.

Because the truth is, people rarely remember our exact words.
But they will always remember how we made them feel.

And that lives almost entirely in our tone.

So today, I'm inviting you to ask yourself:

• How do people feel after interacting with you?

• Where in your life can you adjust, soften and clarify your tone?

• Where can you slow down just enough to speak with more presence?

• Where can you choose to make someone feel heard and seen, instead of managed?

Here is what I know: 
We are constantly shaping the emotional environment around us — often without even realizing it. And then that very environment holds up a mirror back to us… and round and round the cycle goes. When we shift our tone, we create a ripple effect that moves outward into the world AND, at the same time, reflects back to us.

Sometimes, the smallest shift in tone can change everything.

With love as always 💗

Caroline