The wellness world talks a lot of about INTUITION. 

I, myself have talked a lot about intuition, because what I see is that many people only rely on thinking it through and getting lost in contemplation while discarding their intuitive nudges. 

The reason, I believe, is that logic –as the result of lots of thought and contemplation– feels safer because it's more black and white and can often be justified by numbers, data, and evidence. It's masculine. It fits into the patriarchy.

However, logic cannot “see” everything. 

If I were to ask you what your values are, could you give me a clear, well thought-through answer? You know, values that are really authentically your own?

And if I asked you if you actively align your choices and decisions with those values, what would you share with me?

For me personally, living as closely as possible to my own values is one of my life goals.

In December I read a post about a New Year's tradition from Ireland: On the 31st just before midnight you open your back door to let the old year out. Then, right after midnight, you open the front door to let the new year in. 

I instantly loved this sweet tradition and while I didn't make it to midnight (haven't in years 😅) I did this little ritual in the morning of January 1st, figuring I could let go of a few sleepy hours of 2024.

When I opened the back door I pictured all the old energy, the stuffy thoughts, the stress and the overwhelm from 2023 floating out. I visualized my house clearing up and I had this beautiful calmness and serenity settle in my body.

I wanted to send you three quick notes before the holiday madness begins (if you celebrate Christmas) and you get ready to close out 2023 and start 2024: 

1. It's ok to put your differences aside during family gatherings.

Here is what I mean: Nobody's family is perfect and I know that holidays can be tricky for many people. Maybe you're anxious to encounter a particular sibling, parent, uncle or family friend? Maybe there is an unresolved conflict? Maybe there is tension with an in-law?

But, remember this:

I wanted to send you a quick note today because I am noticing how stressed and scattered so many people are feeling. 

Particularly the empaths amongst you are feeling drained by the constant demands of life… the combination of world events, news, social media, massive holiday to-do lists, end of year work schedules, kids school activities is A LOT.

I see you!

I was surprised to see that quite a few of you were curious about how I navigate my relationship with social media.

 The truth is that I am still very much figuring it out and I suspect that my relationship with social media will go through different seasons depending on my personal desires, world events, and the evolution of my work.

Here's what's true for me in this moment…

A couple weeks ago, I was chatting with another mom from my son's soccer team. She asked what I do and so I shared with her that my coaching business has evolved into a few different things over the last decade, but that I currently focus on helping women and couples rediscover their joy so that they can then use that joy as fuel to create lives they can thrive in.

She was quiet for a moment and then asked:

“Do you feel a lot of pressure to always be joyful yourself?”

A little while ago I said to my husband: “You know what I think creates so much dissatisfaction in people's lives?"

Patient and kind as he is, he said: “What?”

 “We do so many really important things to keep our lives going, to keep the foundation healthy and functioning, but we treat those things like they are annoying nuisances and so the completion of those tasks never gives us the satisfaction and sense of pride they should.”

My mother-in-law always says that if everything goes perfectly, you make no memories.  

Well… my husband and I just returned from a weekend away in Mexico City (our first trip away from the kids ever!) and we had the most incredible two days. And then, we got food poisoning 12 hours before we had to get on our flight back home. Suffice it to say, that we will never forget this trip 🤪

My point is this: there is no such thing as perfect and the relentless pursuit of it will exhaust you more than any temporary reward could uplift you. 

Instead, the quality of your life is a question of perspective and how you choose to build memories.

Every few days (sometimes daily depending on what season I am in), I start my day with pulling a card from a tarot or oracle deck. 

I've done this for years and I love this practice, because it ads an element of playfulness, depth, and inner aliveness to my life.

What I have found is that many of us crave depth and a close connection to ourselves… many of you “miss yourselves”… but, as you likely well know, our daily lives get so busy that we often stay on the surface, unsure how we can “drop in" and hear ourselves clearly.

If you follow me on instagram you know that we spent a large chunk of our summer in my husband's hometown in Sweden.

 It was there, during the quiet mornings, still tucked in under the covers with a chilly summer breeze making its way into the bedroom, seagulls chuckling outside, that I found my way back to my journal.

I used to journal a lot before having kids. Before time became scarce and my mornings busy.

My journal back then was a full on art project: filled with all my feelings and thoughts as well as drawings, poems and collages of images that spoke to me.

You may not know this about me, but I am a hobby artist. 

I've always enjoyed doing creative projects and over the last few years I have picked up my creative practice again with a greater commitment and more heart than I have in years.

And, it feels so good 😊

It brings me immense joy and inner peace to sit in front of a blank piece of paper and let my intuition guide me in creating something beautiful that also feels reflective of a feeling or inner experience I am having.

What you think is important in this moment, may be irrelevant for where you actually want to be.

Let me explain: 

We live in a society that is full of “calls to action” that sell us into over-doing, over-buying, over-eating, over-participating.

Let's be real: it's noisy out there and we are bombarded with messaging that wants us to believe that unless we participate, own and do all the things, we will fall behind, miss out, become unhealthy, age faster, aren't good enough parents… you get the picture.

On July 25, I turned 40 in the midst of the warmth and thoughtfulness of my beautiful family ❤️💗🧡

Over the last years as I watched friends and people I follow start this new decade, the general message has been that they were ready and excited to be forty.

But somehow, I didn't share their exuberant feelings when it came to my own 40th birthday.

If I’m honest, over the last year I've often felt sad about turning forty.

As I was organizing my thoughts for this email to you, my 8-year old son popped up next to me to snuggle. He asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was thinking about what it meant to fully participate in my life.

He got quiet and I could tell by his facial expression that he was taking in that question for himself. So I pulled him close and asked him what he thought “fully participating” in his life meant.

After a minute or so he said: “You try to make your life as good as you can. You don’t stay hidden, but you stand out.”

Have you ever felt the desire to fit in?

I bet you have.

I bet that nearly everyone has because fitting in promises a human need: SAFETY.

 Personally, I know this desire very well. When I first moved to the US as an exchange student at sixteen, I deeply wanted to look, sound, and “pass” as American as much as possible. I swapped my knitted sweaters for hoodies, my Euro-jeans for low-rise sweatpants, and even practiced saying “like” randomly in the middle of my budding English language skills 😆… ohhh, how I wish I hadn't.

There is a Swedish saying that recently came up in a conversation with my husband (who is from Sweden) when we were talking about our summer plans.

It's called "Känn lugnet" and means "Feel the calmness."

I love that there is a saying for this very simple yet often overlooked act. 

Before I get to the juice of today's email, can we just talk about how insanely busy the end of the school year is? If you are a parent and your head is spinning, let me tell you: You are NOT alone 🤪

Summer break, I am so ready for you 🙏🌸

Ok, on to today's topic: YOUR ENERGY

We all know those people who…

• seem to have an endless reservoir of energy

• are awake at the crack of dawn ready to take on the day

• ooze of creativity and cannot wait to implement new ideas

I am sitting on my patio in finally warm weather and am thinking about what Mother's Day actually means to me.

On my drive back from the gym this morning, I was blasting one of my favorite songs from my Joy Playlist (you can get it here on Spotify) and it hit me that my life feels so different –lighter, free-er, easier– today than it did last year.

Why?

Part of it is that my kids are a little older and that does make things easier.

And part of it is that I have evolved.

When I think about creating a really great life –a life where you are generally content and fulfilled and don’t take things (& yourself;)) too serious– I think about two things:

1. What’s in your way? What’s blocking you? What’s not working? What are the problems?

2. What do you need more of? What do you want to call in that is in authentic, honest alignment with YOU? What makes you joyful in this season of your life?

These two steps do not work in succession –as many falsely think!– they work in parallel.