Oftentimes when I ask women about their health they tell me that it's good or fine or even great. But when I begin to ask them more specific questions about how they are feeling in their body, how their energy levels are, how they are feeling emotionally, they realize that their health actually isn't so top-notch.
When I shared about Felix’s naming ceremony 2 years ago I received a bunch of messages from fellow moms asking me what we did for his naming ceremony or what it was, so I thought I’d share:
Most people know about postpartum depression (PPD) and, thankfully, it is becoming a much more talked about topic, which means that there is less shame and more resources available for mothers and their families.
Studies show that PPD affects 1 in 7 new mothers, who can develop symptoms any time in the first year after they gave birth (it's commonly believed that PPD shows up immediately after birth, but this is false). (1)
I shared on instagram the other day that we've been going through a bit of rough patch (mostly, because of our consistent questioning of where we should lay down roots and confusion around where we want to live, but also sleep deprivation). So, rest assured that nearly everyone goes through lows.
However, feeling totally run down is another thing. It feels like this:
For some moms, this feeling is constant. For others, it's more like a wave... it comes and goes.
Whenever I talk to a new client (or a random mom on the playground who asks me health related questions), we inevitably talk about her menstrual cycle. And I am ecstatic about it LOL. I love educating women on their periods, because, to me, knowing our cycles is super empowering and allows you to become a more intuitive, confident AND healthy woman. (And in today's day and age, what's better –or more needed– than that?!)
Our menstrual cycle is one of the best windows into our greater health.
A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my old clients who I supported in her fertility journey and who now has a beautiful little son. In her email she said that she has been watching what I feed Felix and Hendrix via instagram and if I have any advice.
Here is what I shared with her when it comes to not only WHAT I feed my boys, but HOW I feed them.
One of the most frequent questions I get from my clients, friends and family alike is "Caroline, what products do you use on your skin? What brands do you trust & use on your boys?"
Until recently I had no good answer for that question despite dedicating the last 6+ months to researching personal care products.
"My body just doesn't feel the same since having a baby."
"My brain just isn't working like it used to."
"Will I ever feel energetic again?"
"Will my concentration and ability to focus ever come back?"
These are only some of the questions moms often ask me during coaching calls or on the playground (after they find out what I do;)).
I am really excited about today's blogpost because it is on a topic I personally don't have very much experience in. Yet I know how many of you working mamas will love and appreciate this advice.
In today's expert interview I am talking with Krystal Lopilato, an employment lawyer from San Francisco, who is a graduate of my Well Mama program and an incredibly generous resource for those of you who feel that their pre-baby work schedule no longer fits their post-baby needs.
I talk a lot to my clients about their mama superpowers, the things they love about motherhood, and the values they want to instill in their children.
Personally, I love SO many aspects of motherhood. I love playing with my kids, cooking with them (despite the mess;)), talking and explaining the world, asking them questions and of course, snuggling with them. I even sometimes "like" the tantrums because I feel such reward when I handle the situation in a way that I feel taught us both something new. I love witnessing my kids' development.
But, you know what my biggest mama weak moment is: Naptime and bedtime.
I remember sitting on the floor in our Brooklyn bedroom, tears streaming down my face. Six months into motherhood and I was so tired. Exhausted to my core, both from being needed 24/7 and from falling in love with my baby so hard that I never wanted to be away from him. I never understood how much mothers can love until I became a mom myself.
Despite the insane amount of beautiful love I felt vibrating through my whole body and despite all the happiness I felt about having my perfect son, another part of me also felt like the entire life that I had worked so hard to create pre-baby, was slipping through my post-baby fingers.
My professional self felt so far away.
Here are my 3 top secrets to create REGULAR self-care even if you are a super busy mama:
1. Plan you self-care before noon.
Our day typically doesn't get less busy as it goes on. I have never heard anyone tell me "And then by 3pm there was miraculously nothing else to take care of." Yeah, right... I wish!
Whatever it is that you're doing for YOU, plan it with priority and urgency. If it's the last thing that you're trying to cramp into your busy day, it's also the last thing on your priority list. For moms especially that just means that you won't ever get to it, because let's be honest, we are exhausted by 9pm (or, truthfully, 7pm;)).
Over the last months, I have been spending a lot of time trying to find my rhythm with two little ones while keeping my business afloat, staying engaged in my marriage and carving out time for self-care.
And I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it's really tricky.
Oh man, I am not proud to write this post, but in the name of realness, motherhood transparency & my hope to do away with the perfectionism that's so rampant among moms, let me tell you that I lost my sh*t the other night.
Before I dive in, I want to preface that I love my kids more than anything in the world and that I am generally a pretty calm, collected, and playful person and have worked a lot on being a patient and listening parent. Most days in our house feel harmonious and I do feel proud about that because it takes real work.
This day... THIS DAY... was not harmonious.
Do you know those moments in life when you see an opportunity and you think to yourself "It probably won't happen, but I'll try anyway."
That was me last fall when I got an email in my inbox from my favorite clothing brand Amour Vert. Amour Vert is a SF-based conscious clothing brand who cares a great deal about sustainability, non-toxic dies, organic fabrics, fair labor practices and keeping our planet healthy and rich in greenery... in fact, they plant a tree for each t-shirt they sell (159,208 to this moment). Isn't that amazing? Plus, their clothing is super fashionable, comfortable and well.... my absolute favorite!
The subject of the email I received that day said "Do you want to be featured in our catalogue?"
Are you familiar with the feeling of vulnerability?
When you feel like your entire emotional world feels raw?
When you feel like your heart is open and you feel like you could just crumble?
When things around you feel out of control and you yourself feel lost?
Last fall, I said to my husband "I finally feel centered again and really well supported." That was after
"And every day, the world will
drag you by the hand, yelling,
"This is important. And this is
important! And this is important!
You need to worry about this!
And this! And this!
And each day, it's up to you to
yank your hand back, put it on
your heart and say, "No. This is
I was listening to one of Tony Robbin's talks the other day on making resolutions and he said that resolutions aren't just vague wishes or dreams or hopes, they are ideas or things you want to RESOLVE.
Here is the truth: most people talk about their resolutions and they stop there. They don't follow them up with an action plan that they can follow so that they can actually resolve anything. They don't infuse their resolutions with positive motivation.
As a result nothing actually changes. There is no improvement and everything stays the same.
Today, I'm so excited to be back with a new Motherhood Spotlight. I am introducing you to my incredible and deeply insightful friend Lacey Melguizo, a mindfulness pro, beautiful photographer and mama of two gorgeous kiddos.
How I know Lacey:
Lacey and I met when Raz, Felix and I roadtripped from NYC to SF in 2016 and spent 8 months in Austin. I was introduced to Lacey through a mutual friend and when we met up to go on a hike, I felt like I had found a home in a new friend. I felt like Lacey looked straight through me and without knowing each other much, our conversation went straight to the core of everything you ever want to tell your friends. So, needless to say, Lacey is a very intuitive, deeply caring woman and she has so much to share with the world of moms.
In her post Parenting as a Practice, Lacey shares with us about her journey going from unconsciously parenting from a place of fear and control to learning how to nourish herself and strengthen her ability to trust the mother seed within herself.