It’s time for real talk because I have been watching something unfold in women’s lives and it has to finally stop.
The thing that is becoming so crystal clear to me is that women of all ages are faced with expectations that are paralyzing.
It truly doesn't matter if I talk to women in their teens or women in their 60s, women who are mothers or women who aren't, women who have successful careers, are entrepreneurs, or women who have chosen to dedicate their time and effort else-where.
The expectations these women face come from society, families, schools, jobs, friendships, instagram, magazines, previous generations… and eventually, we internalize these expectations and cruel messages and they become our own inner voice.
Now the darkness of perfectionism suddenly lives within us.
That means that we can never stop doing, achieving, hustling, dieting, perfect-parenting (& secretly messing up), proving, running, and making our houses cleaner and nicer because, if we stop we risk not being worthy or lovable, not being good enough mothers or sexy enough partners, not being smart enough or not financially independent enough, and simply not the kind of woman or mother that other women look at and say “wow, she’s got her shit together.”
And even if all these expectations aren’t paralyzing you (because maybe you do have your shit together and are rocking life OR you had amazing role-models and friends who don’t play into it all in the first place), I bet that you can at least at times feel the heaviness and the pressure of these expectations on women and mothers today.
I bet that you have had moments where you don’t feel free in your own body and in your own life, but confined by allllll the ways you should have it together. I bet that you have felt uncomfortable, stressed out, and exhausted simply trying to keep up.
I know that I have.
And I know that it takes time (& balls) to loosen the grip of external expectations and actually figure out what IS, in fact, a sound you want to dance to, what expectations are actually in alignment with who you are.
So here is what I want to challenge you to do today:
Look at your life, your choices, your structure, and your routine and pinpoint 3 things that are really working for you. Three things you are putting energy into that are fueling you with meaning and purpose and zest for life. Three things that are in (near-)perfect alignment with the woman you are and want to be.
Then, do the opposite and pinpoint 3 things in your life that aren’t working for you and that you are really only keeping up for others. Three things that are not jazzing you, not filling you up, not nourishing you or enhancing you in feeling like the woman you are and want to be. Ask yourself why you are doing these things and where the expectation to do these things comes from?
Now, I know that you might say things like that your job isn’t in alignment with you but that you cannot just quit it. And yes, you are right, maybe you cannot quit your job overnight, but you sure can change it over time and you can start that process towards change NOW.
Stuckness stops the moment you decide to bring movement into it and look outside the confined walls of what is expected and allow yourself to dream bigger, to be more YOU.
Trust me, playing bigger, being more YOU, and leading an amazing life, must start with you taking an honest look at what you are doing to please others, and what you are doing because it’s in alignment for you.