I’m writing to you from Sweden today. We are visiting my in-laws.
The boys just went fishing with their dad and granddad (farfar in Swedish). Their squeals of excitement are still ringing in my ears, filling my body with sparkles of golden joy.
The clouds are high in the sky; mostly white with a few speckles of grey. The sun is peaking through on occasion. It might rain soon. Typically the wind irritates me, but today the wind has a soft, caressing quality. It feels nice on my skin. I invite it. I need it’s gentleness today.
I sat down to do some writing, to connect with you, because, even though I don’t know most of you personally, I miss you.
I know this might sound strange.
Sometimes I think that this whole online world –writing a blog and running a virtual business– is so odd.
I ask myself why I write to you, what the purpose of my blog is, what continues to give me motivation to reach out to you and share not only what I know about women’s health and well-being, but also bits and pieces of my inner world, the ways life is weighing on my heart, the matters that lift my spirit up high.
When I feel into these questions, the answers come in a flood of clear feelings.
Some of them are that…
… I long for connection with other women in the world who want to feel deeply alive, well, and filled with optimism. Women who share the desire to elevate and celebrate each other.
To tell you the truth, I have felt lonely in the past or like I don’t fit in –particularly with other women– and what I learned is that I just need to find my kind of women. You are my kind of women.
… I long for a richness that comes from knowing stories that are different and opposite as well as similar and familiar to my own.
I love discovering that the mechanics of our inner world do not depend on our outer world circumstances. There is such delight in those momentary flashes when you feel like someone who initially feels like a stranger gets it and gets you.
… I long for realness, rawness, and vulnerability because I am so over the era of perfectionism that is holding so many women (& men) captive in their own minds and stuck in their own lives.
I long for a community of courageous, messy, imperfect, desire-driven, self-honoring people who want to explode with life and don’t care what anyone else thinks, because their inner voice and their own self-approval is more important than the voice and eyes of others.
… I long to be part of the creation of a world where we teach our kids –through role-modeling!– what it’s like to like yourself, how to act from a place of love instead of fear, and how to have a potent voice that isn’t afraid of being heard.
… I long for better, more natural and more empowering information on women’s (& maternal) health and happiness so we can get over the patriarchal dominance over women’s bodies and finally feel at home in our own bodies.
Only then can we live in alignment with principle that are based on nourishment, befriending and healing instead of forcing, quick-fixing and over-medicating.
When I write to you, I am filled with invisible energy no matter if I hear from you or not, because I know you are on the other end of this email… maybe you’re on your computer at your desk, maybe you’re on your phone lying in bed, maybe you’re nursing your baby or waiting in line at the grocery store… one thing I know is that you and I are similar, we are connected either because we have similar stories, similar current lives, similar values or similar desires for our futures.
What I want to share with you today is a lesson I learned many years ago when I first started coaching women.
It is also a lesson I really need to sink myself into again in this phase of my own life:
You are always being guided. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
I received this lesson in many ways, shapes and forms but I originally was introduced to it in a kundalini workshop I took with Gabby Bernstein in NYC.
I want to ask you today to think about something that isn’t going as you had planned in your life. What are you annoyed by, frustrated with, upset or sad about?
Maybe it’s your job because you always thought your career would be further advanced by now or that you’d be making more money, have higher status, or even just like your job more than you do.
Maybe it’s your relationship status or your plans for starting or expanding your family.
Maybe it’s your body, how it looks or doesn’t look, or your health, your fertility, your hormones, or another health issue.
Maybe it’s your living situation, your friendships, or your lack of confidence in yourself.
Here is what I want you to know:
As long as you ask yourself why something is happening to you, as long as you look at yourself and your life and think “Shit! How did this happen? How am I still here, feeling the way I do?” you will stay stuck.
One of the fundamental principles I use as a coach is the simple reframe from “Why is this happening TO me?” to “Why is this happening FOR me?”
Here is what is true for me:
Thank god, I got my heart broken by previous men (& went on too many bad dates;)) so I never settled and could meet my husband.
Thank god, I suffered a back injury that incapacitated me for a few months, because it led me to reclaiming my inner feminine and ultimately completely shifted my life, dreams, perspectives and career.
Thank god, I had all these hormonal issues after coming off the birth control pill because it completely shifted my outlook on women’s health, women’s bodies, what I know about the moon and the connection between body and earth.
There are too many more “thank gods” to list them all here, but my point is this:
You might not be able to see it clearly or easily while it’s happening, but trust me when I tell you that everything that happens in your life is FOR you.
You are always being guided.
When things are uncomfortable or don’t work, it provides a simple placeholder until what is actually right for you is ready; and vice versa, when you are ready for it.
You have to trust this.
Sending you loads of love from Sweden, my dear.