I’ve been solo parenting this week because my husband is in NYC for work.
In general, single mommy-ing it this week went really well and the boys and I had a great time. And then there were those 2-3 times where both boys had meltdowns, tugging at the same toy, screeching, throwing food, I got frustrated and yelled, everyone freaked out and we ended up on the floor taking slow breathes and saying our “I’m sorry!”s and “I love you”s.
Over the last few days, I remembered one of the most important lessons in my journey of motherhood so far: I, as the parent and the mother in particular, set the emotional tone in my family.
It doesn’t mean, of course, that just because I’m in a good mood, my kids are also having a good day.
It means that when I’m in a place of emotional nourishment, resilience, and calm positivity, my kids have the opportunity to follow me into that space. And even if they are having a tough day themselves, they’re much less likely to spiral because I’m not spiraling with them, but instead I’m providing a ground and frame for them to land.
It’s not easy or even what we want to hear, but it’s true.
Here’s something I’ve observed over the years: as women (not only mothers), we are the emotional centers of our families, our friendships, our homes, our communities, our world.
(And yes, husband, dads, and men also have a part in this, but to be completely transparent with you, from what I’ve seen, women really own the majority of that power in most instances.)
What I mean by that is that your mood, your energy, your outlook, your perspective, your attitude and your beliefs have an enormous impact on the emotional course of those around you.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel centered, nourished, seen, alive, positive, at peace, present and aligned, everything around you begins to flow better, including, for example, your children, your partner, your friends, your work.
Your well-being has a ripple effect that positively (or negatively) impacts your surroundings and everything you touch.
You are the emotional center that either creates alignment or choppiness.
You are like the sun.
And yes, sometimes we cannot see the sun because there are clouds, rain and wind, but it’s still there, it can always break through the clouds, dry the rain, wait for the wind to calm.
This is what I want you to remember:
You are strong.
So much stronger than you think.
You are resilient.
You have the capacity to shine, to bring warmth, to shed light.
Your well-being is vital for this planet.
Nourish yourself well.
Take a break.
Calm that inner critic.
Be attentive to your own needs, because you are the emotional center of your family, and collectively with other women, of the world.
This is a great responsibility; one that (I know) can feel like a lot, but also one that comes with the greatest rewards, the deepest connections, the most meaningful opportunities.
If you want to explore what getting into your emotional center, finding your balance, and discovering your happy place looks and feels like and how you can get there, I’d love to chat. I have a few open spots for private coaching clients, so just click here and fill out the short form and tell me a few things about you.
Other things my clients come to see me for include addressing hormonal imbalances, fatigue, weight loss, anxiety, career changes, and relationship issues, among others. You can learn more here.