This morning my coach took me through a beautiful meditation on centered presence.
Creating more attunement into myself and my world, hearing and honoring my own needs, and building a centered presence has been the work of my personal inner world this year.
In today’s morning meditation, I felt the rewards of my work: a light, easy, joyful sensation in my core that felt present, proud and in harmony with the woman I am today.
While I know better than to expect this feeling to stay with me unwaveringly… fluctuations are normal and I fully expect my life to go through the ebbs and flows, highs and lows or life, BUT –right now, TODAY!– it’s here, dancing a beautiful dance in the cells of my body.
And I am grateful for it; present for it.
This past year, I have learned to pause and receive joy in a new way.
It has been a tremendous gift.
But I have to be honest and tell you that this work hasn’t always been easy.
I FELT a lot this year… some of the things I felt have been deeply buried in the dark closets of my body and calling it forth felt scary and vulnerable.
And yet, I knew I needed to allow myself to feel fully so I could open myself up, expand into a fuller version of who I am becoming and be more present (instead of getting caught up in the ‘what if’s’ of tomorrow). And in that presence, I learned to become more free to feel and receive the joys that my life already wants to give to me.
In the midst of all the feeling I did this year and all the speaking out loud of my fears and worries, I also RECOGNIZED and RELEASED the very things that were creating blockages. The things that kept me feeling tight, stressed, overthinking and uneasy in the eye of uncertainty.
I recognize now that this work is the work that needs to be done to not only to be the kind of mother I want to be to my human children, but also my own mother in the archetype sense of the word: a woman who stands firmly behind herself. Supportive. Loving. Affectionate.
What’s interesting is that this work I am doing with myself is also at the core of the work that I do with other women and mothers: no matter what the inspiration is to work with me, I always find that the real desire that all of my clients carry in their hearts, is to become closer to their own selves; to accept and love and hear and receive themselves in a way that nourishes their needs and out of that nourishment, furthers their lives.
Needless to say, I am deeply honored to be doing the work I do. To be part of your life in this way.
So, my question for you as this year is coming to a close is this (phrased in a few different ways):
What’s really the need that’s not spoken in your life?
What is underneath the surface of who you present yourself to be to the outer world?
What are you holding back?
What are you hesitating to say or ask for because you fear judgement or think that what you want cannot be met anyways?
Where are you censoring yourself and in that censoring are denying your own voice?
I recommend that you journal on this question. Don’t try to answer it with only a few words. It’s a complex, big, profound question. Explore it. Allow your pen to take you through your thoughts and seep into your unconscious. Write whatever comes to mind without paying attention to style or form. Allow yourself to spill on paper the truth of yourself and meet your words with curiosity and receptivity.
Happy holidays and may 2018 close for you on a positive note.
PS: If you desire to work through these questions with a coach, I’d love to invite you to get in touch with me.
While I only work with a selected number of women at a time –respecting my own capacity to hold, nourish, and balance my work alongside my family and my own needs– I’m inviting 2-3 women into my private coaching practice starting in January.
If you feel called, I’d love to invite you for a free consultation to see if we are a fit. You can fill out a consultation request form here or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.