I was listening to one of Tony Robbin's talks the other day on making resolutions and he said that resolutions aren't just vague wishes or dreams or hopes, they are ideas or things you deeply want to RESOLVE.
Here is the truth: most people talk about their resolutions and they stop there. They don't follow them up with an action plan that they can follow so that they can actually resolve anything. They don't infuse their resolutions with positive motivation.
As a result nothing actually changes. There is no improvement and everything stays the same.
How many times have you told yourself that you will stress less, worry less, eat healthier, exercise more, work more efficiently, take more time to yourself, get more support for the kids...? How many times have you done that for the first few weeks of the year until you got distracted, bored, and stopped following through?
Trust me, you are not alone. Studies show that most people ditch their resolutions before January is over.
BUT, NOT THIS YEAR:) I am about to tell you what I do at the beginning of each year and what I have led hundreds of my clients through over the years to help them stay on track and actually make positive changes in their lives.
Here is my personal New Year's resolution ritual:
Take out a pen and a piece of paper and draw a cross so that you have 4 square areas.
Name the boxes: WORK, LOVE, HEALTH, & PLAY. These are the 4 cornerstones of your life that you want to pour love and attention into in order to become a more balanced, more grounded and happier person.
For each area, I want you to answer 2 questions:
1. What feeling do I want to invite into my work (if you're a stay at home mom, of course consider being at home with the kids and running the household your job)/ love life/ health/ play life?
Make sure that each of the feelings you write down are affirmative (so stay away from saying things like stress less, and instead say feel more relaxed) and really feel deeply aligned with your needs.
2. What are 3 things you are going to do in order to create this feeling in each respective area of your life (work, love, health, play). The more specific they can be, the better.
Then I want you to take our your planner and write these action steps into your calendar and schedule them into your life. That includes big things like going on a trip (even if you don't know the specific date, put it into the timeframe you'd like for this to happen) and small things like sitting in silence for 5 minutes in the evening. DO NOT SKIP WRITING THESE DOWN.
If your partner is up for it, make him/her do the same exercise and talk about it with each other so you can hold each other accountable and support each other in following through.
If you have questions about this exercise, leave a comment below and I'll get back to you asap.
Here is an example for what I am manifesting and planning for in the LOVE department for 2018:
I noticed in 2017 that life especially with two kids can sometimes feel a bit serious and like we're constantly running on a schedule between feeding, napping, activities and bed time, so that Raz and I collapse on the couch at the end of the day. What I really miss is this feeling of YOUNG LOVE between us; the spontaneity, the adventure, the teasing, the carefreeness... you get the picture.
The feeling I want to invite is YOUNG LOVE and the three action steps I am planning out right now are:
1. A monthly during-the-day, weekend afternoon date (with the baby getting up at night I am often just too tired to feel young love in the evening;)), which consist of Raz and me going on hikes, bike rides, to a museum, a cozy late lunch with a glass of rose, getting lost in a different SF neighborhood, driving to the beach, or going to a spa.
2. Once a quarter, we'll do a special night out and go to a nice dinner, a concert, the theater, take a cooking class etc.
3. Start a tournament. We love playing cards and backgammon, but instead of playing occasionally in the evenings, we're going to pick one game-night per week and keep track of the scores over time and see who is the end of 2018 winner (winner get a surprise;)).
Now it is your turn. What are you inviting and planning for in 2018?
Do you have questions? Leave them in the comments below and I'll get back to you asap.