Are you familiar with the feeling of vulnerability?
When you feel like your entire emotional world feels raw?
When you feel like your heart is open and you feel like you could just crumble?
When things around you feel out of control and you yourself feel lost?
Last fall, I said to my husband "I finally feel centered again and really well supported." That was after we moved into a super charming apartment in SF, Felix entered preschool, we found a wonderful set-up for Hendrix to be in a morning nannyshare, I hired someone to help me with my business, I was in major creating mode for Well Mama, I hosted my first Well Mama Circle at my home... things began to feel like they were in flow.
It felt SO good!
Then, just before the holidays, my flow and my support system started to become brittle and fall apart. Both boys had been sick on and off, our nanny's school schedule changed and she couldn't continue with us, my business support had a family emergency and couldn't be available and neither of the boys had been sleeping well. Meanwhile I had a ton of deadlines to meet and could feel the burning pressure return that I had just released in the fall.
So there I was: feeling all the feels of motherhood, of entrepreneurship, of womanhood.
The vulnerability was real.
A few years back, I always fought vulnerability. I forced myself to push through, to stuff away the feelings, to swing my arms and make a lot of noise to give expression to my resistance to things feeling out of control.
And then I learned that all of this noise made zero difference, that it, in fact, drained me even more.
You know what I did then? I learned to surrender. And I don't mean giving up, but I mean focusing my energy on the things that are within my control and releasing the rest.
So here I am: still feeling all the feels, but instead of tightening all my muscles and putting on my boxing gloves, I do the following:
I close my eyes, put my hands on my heart and visualize everything that feels heavy lifting off my shoulders.
I breathe into my body.
I let my soul do a little dance.
I tell myself that I love myself.
I reframe the lack of time I feel I have for my work as a gift of time I have with Hendrix (my 6 month old).
I meal prep healthy food with my boys.
I nourish myself with warming, blood-sugar balancing foods that are easy to digest.
I stay away from sugar and caffeine to show my adrenals some extra loving and conserve the energy I have.
I take Hendrix on a walk in the carrier and hold his little hands.
I work when he goes down for his nap.
I text a girlfriend.
I send an "I love you" message to my husband, because feeling connected always makes me feel stronger.
I take some more deep breaths.
I stretch while I am on the floor racing cars with Felix (my 2.5 year old).
I remind myself to be present. To be grateful. To surrender.
I welcome tomorrow as a new day.
Here is what I want you to know: Resisting things that are outside of your control (like feeling vulnerable or the things that make you feel vulnerable) is only wasting your precious energy.
Sometimes life throws you a curveball and, to be honest with you, in my experience there are a lot of curveballs in motherhood because life with kids is a lot less predictable than life before kids.
So instead of resisting vulnerability and the inevitable chaos that comes with motherhood, surrender and focus on the things that are within your control.
The 3 areas that I always come back to to ground myself, are:
1. the food I nourish myself with that keeps me stable and balanced,
2. my community and my marriage, and
3. my spiritual connection with myself that let's me see that life is bigger than what I am experiencing in that particular immediacy.
What do you do to ground yourself? To help you feel calm in the eye of the storm?
If you would like to become better at standing your ground, focusing your energy on the things that you can control, and not losing yourself in the chaos of motherhood, I would love for you to join me for this next round of Well Mama.
We are starting this Sunday, January 21st but enrollment closes tomorrow, Wednesday at 3pm EST/ 12 noon PST.
I know that you will love this course. I know that the tools I will share with you will elevate your life, help you remember YOU and support you in feeling lighter and more aligned with your own truth and the life you desire to create.
I know that after Well Mama, you will feel better physically, emotionally and spiritually than ever before. I KNOW, because I have lived, applied and practiced the tools I teach you and I have experienced the incredible difference in my life quality and the way I show up for those I love (including myself).
So, let me ask you: Are you coming with us? Are you ready to make 2018 the year that marks a turn in your life for the better? Or do you want to go on like you have, make no sustainable changes, feel like you are fighting an uphill battle on your own? The choice is yours... just know that I would love to invite you to be part of Well Mama and help you make the changes your whole family deserves.
You can join us here (remember that enrollment closes for good tomorrow, Wednesday at 3pm EST/ 12 noon PST).
PS: Questions? Hesitation? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let's talk. I want to make sure Well Mama is right for you.
Are you familiar with the feeling of vulnerability?