Do you know that moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and all you see is complete exhaustion... and it's only 7:30am?
You feel like you cannot. take. one. more. step.
Do. one. more. thing.
Answer. one. more. question.
Maybe you boss just loaded a whole new folder on your desk without showing even the slightest sign of appreciation?
Maybe you've been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully and feel a sharp pain every time you hear that someone you know is pregnant?
Maybe you've got a kid (or more) at home and you feel like you're running the whole show?
Maybe your commute is so irritating that each day you just want to explode a little?
Maybe your partner is driving you absolutely crazy and you feel lonely, misunderstood and unsupported as a result?
Maybe you've been reading the news and you just feel crushed, helpless and angry?
Maybe you feel like you've been searching for your purpose, who you are and what you really desire in your life... and you feel like you're finding nothing?
Sometimes you even wonder "WTF happened to me? I used to have it all together. I used to be able to just push through. I used to be a charge taker. My life was good."
I want to let you in on a not so secret secret, love: You're running on empty.
Now you might be thinking "D-oh! I know that, Caroline. That's not a secret."
But here is where it gets interesting: The reason we run on empty is because the equation between how much we put out and how much we get back isn't balanced.
As a pregnant, working mom, I know what it's like to feel like you are running on empty. BUT I have also been studying human psychology and women's health for 9 years now and so I've had plenty of chances to learn how to bounce back to feeling better, more in control, and like myself again.
Now, I could be rattling off a whole slew of "health coach advice" and tell you to go and do all the "stuff" like yoga, meditation, healthy eating, no sugar or alcohol, regular exercise and whatever else is on these common "self-care to-do" lists these days.
Don't get me wrong, nourishing food, movement, and mindfulness are all super important and I do teach about these things, but here is what's even more important:
Living in integrity with your core desires and your core values.
Big words, Caroline, but seriously can you be a bit more specific?
Let me use myself as an example:
A few years ago I was studying the work of Danielle LaPorte (a personal heroine of mine). She talks about the importance of knowing your personal desired feelings and using that as the foundation to build your life and make decisions.
I worked with my coach on really clarifying and differentiating my personal desired feelings from my "should" voice because that stuff is really hard to see when you are in it.
And what I discovered was that my 5 core desired feelings were feeling:
1. Alive and lighthearted
When I am running on empty and feel depleted and read over this list, I can immediately tell where I am off and what i need to pay attention to.
When we first moved to San Francisco last fall, I didn't feel good at all. I felt like I was running in empty all the time and I realized that I felt deeply disconnected.
I didn't feel connected to the city.
I didn't feel connected to my home.
I didn't feel connected to other women and had no mom friends who I could go to the park with in the afternoons.
I was running on empty because I was outputting more than what I was fueling myself with. And the best fuel always directly hooks up and nourishes your core desired feelings.
That's really what I mean when I talk about the importance of nourishment: it's not just about food and the right exercise class. It's about nourishing your spirit, your soul, your inner girl.
And so that's where I started: I reached out and made new mom friends... and yes, I totally felt like I was in the dating game all over with the only difference being that I didn't have a fancy cocktail in my hand flirting with a cute guy, but was chasing Felix on the playground :)
But you know what, I put myself out there and it worked. I met a few wonderful, funny mamas who I meet up with in the afternoons and who get me and my current life. I feel connected again!
Here is what I want you to take away, love:
If you feel depleted, empty, exhausted, and like everything sucks, sit yourself down and seriously consider how you truly desire to FEEL in your life? What's important to YOU?
Knowing that about yourself is your golden key to recovering from exhaustion and taking action to return to a place of harmony, flow and fulfillment.
In the comments below, I'd love to hear from you: What are your desired feelings? How do you really want to feel in YOUR life?
On a final note, I am going to go on maternity leave in June for baby #2, so this is the last chance you have to work with me one-on-one for 3 months, so if you're trying to get pregnant but feel like something is off, are currently pregnant and want some support, or are a new mama who needs help navigating her health postpartum and her new life, fill out this application for a free 20 minute consultation to see if we are a fit. I'd love to chat with you and if we are the right fit, support you through the next 3 months. (This offer is limited to 3 new women.)