*scroll underneath today's post for an update from our life in Austin. Some of you asked ;)
How do you feel about being called a complainer, a hypochondriac, or an exaggerator? How about the terms needy, weak, overly emotional, fearful, hysterical, insecure or crazy?
None of these are descriptions we like to hear and yet, as women, whether or not we actually hear them from other people, we are cognizant of avoiding them. I cannot tell you how many of my clients over the years had an inner conflict about trying really hard to not be "a needy girlfriend" for example.
However, what this leads to is that hundreds and thousands of women silence their physical and emotional concerns, deny their own needs and desires, and don't speak up for themselves.
Not only does this lead to women being in unsatisfying relationships at home and at work, but, more urgently, it also leads to women being ignored and misdiagnosed by their healthcare providers.
Women, in fact, are dying every year because they don't express their concerns early enough and/or because a big chunk of society chalks up women's issues to depression or anxiety -both of which are vastly overmedicated and rarely looked upon from a holistic point of view that would try to heal rather than suppress these symptoms.
Working with women in the fertility world, it is also shocking to me that a lot of the terminology used in women's health is extremely derogatory and puts the fault on the woman's shoulders (ever heard of "incompetent cervix" for example?)
This. needs. to. stop. And it starts with us -the women themselves.
We have to be our own advocates and, as Aviva Romm (who is an M.D., midwife and herbalist - amazing combo, right!?) suggests, we have to move the conversation away from talking about our "complaints" to addressing our "concerns" in a serious way.
This is true especially when it comes to our own health as Aviva excellently explains in the most recent talk How Medical Gender Bias is Killing Women and How to Save Your Own Life., but it is also true for our relationships and our work. There is never a reason you should silence your romantic needs out of fear that your partner will reject you, and there is also never a reason to not show up at your work equipped with confidence and a smart, questioning mind that seeks to find the best solutions.
This is what being a strong woman means after all: a woman with a voice!
By saying this, I'm obviously not encouraging you to be dramatic, explosive, or blaming of others, but I am encouraging you massively to get in touch with your inner voice, listen to your intuition, and express the things that concern you.
So, if you do one thing for yourself, then please make it this: speak up for yourself. Not once, not twice, but always. This is a life philosophy because it is at the very core of living in integrity with yourself.
There is nothing cute whatsoever about being agreeable to the point of self-ignorance. People who find that cute should not be allowed a seat on your table (this includes doctors who do not listen to you or take your concerns seriously). Be bold. Own your voice. Ask questions. Speak from your heart.
A little update from our life in Austin
Some of you have asked to get an update on our recent move to Austin from NYC.
While no other city in the world has NYC's energy, April in Austin is undoubtedly heavenly.
Felix is adjusting splendidly, is crawling up a storm, and is sporting two sharp little bottom teeth that make him look irresistibly cheeky. It's funny to think that when we got to Austin, he couldn't crawl and had no teeth. Watching him grow is not only the joy of my life but it also re-enforces my awe of nature.
One of the things I love most about Austin is that there is outdoor seating, good food, and the nicest people everywhere.
Here I am at a working lunch date with my husband (I always work better when I get to look at my handsome man at the same time;)).
Look close and you can see a sneak peek of the beautiful and info-packed workbook I am working on for my Spring Cleanse (starts this Sunday, April 10th --> you can find more details here.) The group of women signed up for it so far is absolutely fantastic. I'd love for you to join us and detoxify your body in a gentle, hormone-balancing way while using this Spring's energy to find a new way to flourish in your own mind and body.
Sending you lots of love to wherever you are in the world. xx <3