The other day, after Felix's nanny share and a day of work for me, I quickly buckled him into the stroller and began racing down the street to get a bunch of my christmas shopping done.
I practically sprinted from store to store until I finally realized that I was starving. So I began looking for something healthy, but became so hungry that I finally just ordered a croissant, which I devoured in 3 seconds.
Then I took Felix to the playground while checking my watch every few minutes to make sure we didn't stay for longer than 20 minutes, so that I could make it to the grocery store and home to cook his dinner, give him a bath, read him a story (or five), and tuck him into his bed.
My thoughts that whole day were running at a million miles an hour; jumping between christmas gifts, Felix upcoming doctor's appointment, organizing the nanny for my husband's company christmas party, dinner prep, and my email inbox.
Later that night, I collapsed on the couch... T.O.T.A.L.L.Y. exhausted!
I realized that periodically (often towards the end of the year), I feel like I am: over-committed, over-doing, over-snacking on foods that I know don't make me feel good, not prioritizing well enough, and rushing.
Have you ever been there? The slope to over-everythinging is pretty slippery and once you're on the over-busy train, it's kinda hard to jump off.
I realized that some things need to change and so I sat myself down and did an inventory of 2016. I thought about all the things that I have taken on and that are currently on my plate between motherhood, my marriage, myself, coaching my wonderful clients, recently having moved to a new city, keeping the house in tact, travels... it's a lot.
In fact, it's too much.
And from knowing many women very closely as a coach, I know I'm not the only one. I am well aware that as women we have the tendency to over-extend ourselves and take on too much.
Once I really thought about all the things I am trying to do well and with love, I could stop feeling bad about being exhausted from it all (in fact, I discovered a lot of love for myself for having been able to handle it for so long) and get some perspective.
That allowed me to then make a more conscious choice about what I want to spend more of my time on and which areas I need to re-structure or get some support on.
One of my highest priorities in life, after all, is to live with intention, clarity, zest, and ease. In emotional and hormonal harmony, and in what I call a "fertile life."
I am not interested in living a default life that feels out of my own realm of creation, intention and health.
SO, the question I asked myself, that I want to offer to you today is this:
What do you want to make space for in 2017?
I am not asking you what you think you should do more of.
I am not asking you what you feel guilty about not having done in 2016 that you now want to guilt-trip yourself into doing in 2017.
I am also not asking you to be practical or reasonable about this.
I am not talking to your brain, which I am sure has a ton of expectations and "smart" suggestions for what you need to focus on.
I want you to tune into your gut, hang out with your heart and your desires, and then see what comes up for you when you sincerely propose the question "what do I want to make space for in 2017?".
Go deep, love. And be honest.
If, for example, you answered that you want to make space for a baby, I want you to go deeper: in order to make space for a baby, what do you have to make space for in your own life first to foster fertility and an environment that a baby wants to come into... cannot WAIT to come into?
You might discover a deep urge to take excellent care of yourself: that you want to take more time eating healing and health promoting foods, that you want to move but in a way that feels energizing and fun (instead of the treadmill), that you want to have more pleasure and play, that you desire more peace and rest where you can replenish and refuel.
Go as deep as possible and come up with a specific plan for how YOU can make this happen.
Write it down and keep it somewhere where you can read it daily.
This is a love note to yourself.
Not a resolution. Not a goal. Not an expectation.
Let your love -your authentic desires- pull you!
For me, the one thing I want to make space for in 2017, is SILENCE.
My life tends to be so full of color, vibrancy, travel, a job and clients I love, wild kids and a fun-loving husband - all of which I am immensely grateful for- but when I tuned into my gut and truly listened to my heart, I discovered that my introverted side has been hurting a bit.
I need more quiet time to just be with myself.
I need silence so I can actually hear my thoughts and process my feelings.
That is what I am making space for going forward: the first 15 minutes once Felix is in his nanny share will be my new time in silence, where I can just hear my thoughts and feel my feelings -whether they are positive or challenging. I will give myself permission to just be with me.
In order to create more space for silence I am also going to look into options like instacart, so that I can get our groceries delivered on some days.
And lastly, I am going to continue to work on releasing perfectionistic ideals and just accept that some days it's going to be messy, but that what matters is that everyone goes to bed happy and content. Who cares if we leave a few plates in the sink?!
What comes up for you, beauty? What do you want to make space for in 2017? Let me know in the comments below.
I love hearing from you <3