It is with such pleasure, pride, and joy that I am writing to you today to share the news about my baby boy, Felix Gustav Marlow Zwickson. He was born on June 8th at 7lbs 11oz and 21 inches.
Felix is exactly 4 weeks and 1 day old today and is growing so fast and evolving so beautifully. I cannot believe it has already been four weeks since I gave birth to him, which itself was a wild and humbling experience that went completely different from what we had planned (a topic I will share more about another time).
Besides his little body growing so fast and his eyes making more and more contact, I can also swear that he is already trying to smile at his daddy and me; albeit his "smiling muscles" work better on one side of his cheeks, which leads to this hilarious crooked grin on his happy little baby face.
He makes my heart melt and I feel a certain never-before-felt love, pride and humility when I look at him. Sometimes I still cannot believe he is actually mine/ours. Like my husband said when we left the hospital: "I feel like we just stole a baby" :) It's such a surreal experience.
As you may imagine, our life has been turned upside down in the last four weeks as I am no longer on my "adult" schedule, but am tuning into Felix's baby rhythm.
Prior to his birth, I set a very clear intention to surrender my ideas for how everything should be and instead give myself and my family enough space to focus on tuning into understanding Felix's personal temperament, learning to meet his unique needs, as well as meeting ourselves and each other with fresh eyes as we -my husband and I- step into being parents together.
Becoming a mom, practicing patience and focusing on being utterly present to this process is actually quite a life lesson for me.
As a planner by nature who enjoys taking charge and likes to get things done and push projects forward, this is quite a different approach and pace for me.
My husband -probably the more chilled out one in the relationship;)- has been such wonderful support and never fails to encourage me when I need it. I am grateful that I get to go through this with someone as strong and loving as him by my side.
As I am embarking on this new experience, I am yet again learning to find the delicate balance between my desire for structure, meeting goals, and an agenda I can influence AND the necessity for flexibility, ease, and surrender to whatever life and the people in it present to us.
Finding this balance is not only immensely valuable when stepping into motherhood, but it is essential for a fulfilled life in general. With this in mind, I want to ask you:
Where is this balance for you? Are you dancing with these two opposing components (ambition AND surrender, pushing forward AND relaxing into it), or is one taking charge or precedence in your life? Is your life too controlled and rigid so that you lack flexibility and joy? Or is your life too flexible and open that nothing ever gets done? How can you strike a better balance?