Do you ever lose your sh*t with your kid(s)?

Oh man, I am not proud to write this post, but in the name of realness, motherhood transparency & my hope to do away with the perfectionism that's so rampant among moms, let me tell you that I lost my sh*t the other night. 

Before I dive in, I want to preface that I love my kids more than anything in the world and that I am generally a pretty calm, collected, and playful person and have worked a lot on being a patient and listening parent. Most days in our house feel harmonious and I do feel proud about that because it takes real work.

This day... THIS DAY... was not harmonious.

I got to be a fashion model for a day... here's what happened

I got to be a fashion model for a day... here's what happened

Do you know those moments in life when you see an opportunity and you think to yourself "It probably won't happen, but I'll try anyway."

That was me last fall when I got an email in my inbox from my favorite clothing brand Amour Vert. Amour Vert is a SF-based conscious clothing brand who cares a great deal about sustainability, non-toxic dies, organic fabrics, fair labor practices and keeping our planet healthy and rich in greenery... in fact, they plant a tree for each t-shirt they sell (159,208 to this moment). Isn't that amazing? Plus, their clothing is super fashionable, comfortable and well.... my absolute favorite! 

The subject of the email I received that day said "Do you want to be featured in our catalogue?"
 

For when you feel particularly vulnerable and raw in your mama journey...

For when you feel particularly vulnerable and raw in your mama journey...

Are you familiar with the feeling of vulnerability?

When you feel like your entire emotional world feels raw?

When you feel like your heart is open and you feel like you could just crumble?

When things around you feel out of control and you yourself feel lost? 

Last fall, I said to my husband "I finally feel centered again and really well supported." That was after

Don't do this if you want 2018 to be an amazing year. Do THIS instead.

Don't do this if you want 2018 to be an amazing year. Do THIS instead.

I was listening to one of Tony Robbin's talks the other day on making resolutions and he said that resolutions aren't just vague wishes or dreams or hopes, they are ideas or things you want to RESOLVE. 

Here is the truth: most people talk about their resolutions and they stop there. They don't follow them up with an action plan that they can follow so that they can actually resolve anything. They don't infuse their resolutions with positive motivation.

As a result nothing actually changes. There is no improvement and everything stays the same.

Motherhood Spotlight with Lacey Melguizo: Parenting as a practice

Motherhood Spotlight with Lacey Melguizo: Parenting as a practice

Today, I'm so excited to be back with a new Motherhood Spotlight. I am introducing you to my incredible and deeply insightful friend Lacey Melguizo, a mindfulness pro, beautiful photographer and mama of two gorgeous kiddos. 

How I know Lacey: 

Lacey and I met when Raz, Felix and I roadtripped from NYC to SF in 2016 and spent 8 months in Austin. I was introduced to Lacey through a mutual friend and when we met up to go on a hike, I felt like I had found a home in a new friend. I felt like Lacey looked straight through me and without knowing each other much, our conversation went straight to the core of everything you ever want to tell your friends. So, needless to say, Lacey is a very intuitive, deeply caring woman and she has so much to share with the world of moms.

In her post Parenting as a Practice, Lacey shares with us about her journey going from unconsciously parenting from a place of fear and control to learning how to nourish herself and strengthen her ability to trust the mother seed within herself.

I bathed in milk. True story :) Here's how that happened & the lesson from it.

I bathed in milk. True story :) Here's how that happened & the lesson from it.

When I was around 9 or 10 years old, I learned about Cleopatra in school. I vividly remember hearing that she bathed in milk and thinking how luxurious that sounded.

Naturally I went home that day, collected all the milk in the fridge and prepared a bath. You can imagine our housekeeper's/ babysitter's facial expression (she had a strong, Bavarian temperament) when she walked into the bathroom while I was emptying milk bottle #3. I then simply explained to her that this is what Cleopatra did, and that I thought I should deserve the same haha... my poor parents.

When I think about this story as an adult, I 1. chuckle to myself, and 2. seriously wonder when I stopped honoring my body in that way. Considering that I have had two pregnancies and births, I should be bathing in organic, grass-fed cream every day :)

A story about balls. You're welcome ;)

A story about balls. You're welcome ;)

Ahhh, so you wanna hear a story about balls, don’t you?! ;) Well, here we go!

My husband's friend told him this story a few months ago, and I think about it almost daily—especially when I feel like there isn't enough time in the day (aka. always).

In life, we're always juggling. We have obligations tugging at us, pulling us our emotions and our energy in different directions, often causing stress.

What we have to realize is that not all of the balls that we are juggling are made of the same material. Some balls are made of rubber, and some balls are made of crystal.

Are you trying to be the perfect mom (& feel a little exhausted from it)?

Are you trying to be the perfect mom (& feel a little exhausted from it)?

A few months ago, I decided to be more open and transparent on social media about my real experience being a mom. Not that I ever lied, but like pretty much everyone else, it was just easier to capture the beautiful and easy moments—and much harder to be vulnerable and tell "the full story." 

I came to a point where I realized that telling the full story and being really honest about the beauty AND challenges of motherhood will serve everyone—ultimately creating what we moms often crave most: honest woman-to-woman, mom-to-mom connection without the perfect facade.

In fact, I kinda felt like it was my responsibility to be really real.

Does your family of origin impact you as a mom and wife?

Does your family of origin impact you as a mom and wife?

During the second year of my Master's program in Counseling Psychology, we dove deep into family dynamics and family of origin work.

In one class—that I particularly liked—we had to draw a genogram of our family of origin AND our partner's family of origin. My husband (then boyfriend) and I were then guided through some exercises to understand the roles and reaction patterns we each fall into when things get stressful.

Through this exercise, I could clearly see how the patterns and established roles of women and men, mothers and fathers and the relationships between them, massively impacted me: how they formed my expectations, taught me how to show love, fueled my fears, mapped out unconscious behavior... the list is long.
 

Do you know that you need to take better care of yourself...but you just aren’t doing it?

Do you know that you need to take better care of yourself...but you just aren’t doing it?

Last Saturday, I hosted my first in-person Well Mama Circle at my home in SF. Well Mama Circle was created to be a place for moms to meet, be, play, celebrate each other and set loving intentions and personal goals for how to be truly WELL as a WHOLE WOMAN. We also engaged and played with Goddess Cards to gain some greater insight into what we need to know in order to move forward into a healthier, more balanced and trusting place in our lives as moms.

It was an absolutely magical evening and I am in pure awe of the openness, vulnerability, love and raw-ness that each of the moms showed up with that night. 

Motherhood Spotlight with Brandi Grooms Johnson: Feeling sexy and confident again after baby

Motherhood Spotlight with Brandi Grooms Johnson: Feeling sexy and confident again after baby

I remember after my pregnancy with Felix, a mama friend told me that she was about to do a boudoir shoot. My curiosity was immediately sparked and I thought "How courageous of her. She must feel so sexy in her body already. I don't even know if I would have had the confidence before having a baby."

She then shared with me that the reason she was having this photoshoot was so she could see herself as sexy again. Sometimes it takes someone else to capture your beauty and reflect it back to you because so many of us have a pretty dominant inner critic.

To be honest, for me personally, I didn't have trouble losing my baby weight and altogether didn't think that my body looked that different from before my pregnancy, I just didn't feel sexy.

How I mom-date (yup, that's a thing ;))

How I mom-date (yup, that's a thing ;))

Are you laughing? I hope so, because I am ;) 

But seriously, I know how difficult it is to make new friends when you have kids and most of your "old" friends don't have children yet.

A fellow mom once asked me with a dreaded look on her face "Ughh... do we really have to start dating all over again?" and honestly, the answer is that you don't HAVE to, but your life as a mama will be so much easier and more fun if you have a good community to share your experiences with, ask questions, and celebrate milestones together.

In the first 15 months of Felix's life, we moved twice; from NYC to Austin and then to San Francisco, so let me just say: I mom-dated a lot and practically across the country ;)

My favorite new mama foods for optimal postpartum healing.

My favorite new mama foods for optimal postpartum healing.

First let me be honest with you about something: What you eat after you had a baby matters a HUGE amount because it not only impacts your own recovery and healing from pregnancy and birth but it also affects your baby.

The latter is true if you are breastfeeding of course (especially the micronutrient composition in your breastmilk is affected by what you eat) but also if your baby is formula-fed.

Why?

Motherhood Spotlight with Ashley Koch: Raising healthy eaters. What you can do without stressing.

Motherhood Spotlight with Ashley Koch: Raising healthy eaters. What you can do without stressing.

Feeding my family and myself healthy, nutritious and delicious food is one of my primary goals as a mom. I am definitely one of those people who show their love through food so if I ever invite you over for dinner or drop off a loaf of homemade healthy anything, consider yourself loved;)

As you can imagine, when Felix rejects what I cook for him and goes on a food strike, it's hard for me not to get annoyed, frustrated, and worried that he's not getting enough healthy food. 

Such mama worries, I know. But my guess is that if you have a toddler, you've been there.

Motherhood Spotlight with Aki Raymer: Parenting in Partnership. What partners need to know to stay connected and parent as a team. '

Motherhood Spotlight with Aki Raymer: Parenting in Partnership. What partners need to know to stay connected and parent as a team. '

When I was in graduate school for my M.A. in Counseling Psychology, my favorite class was on family dynamics and learning about how the patterns that live in our families of origin impact all of our future relationship, including of course our marriages and the way we raise our children.

My husband and I discovered some incredible insights into who each of us are, how we show up and how we deal with stressful times by looking into our pasts and unraveling the dynamics in which we grew up.

Motherhood Spotlight with Jeannine Yoder: Entrepreneurship and motherhood

Motherhood Spotlight with Jeannine Yoder: Entrepreneurship and motherhood

One of the biggest puzzle pieces I work on with my private mama clients (besides their health and their relationship) is what they want to do with their professional lives after having had a baby.

Do you want to be a stay-at-home mom (assuming that works financially)? Do you want to go back to work fully or part-time? Or do you want to start something on your own that allows you to work from home on a flexible schedule?

The latter is often the dream many moms have: spend your time away from your kids doing something you love that gives you meaning AND being able to be there for your child's big events, taking off an afternoon to chase your littles across the playground just because its sunny and you’ve been missing them, or gifting yourself a morning walk because you simply feel the need to take care of yourself.

The hardest day I've had in a loooong time

The hardest day I've had in a loooong time

Today I am writing from a very vulnerable and raw place. What I am about to share with you isn't perfectly thought out or even digested yet. It's a work in progress. 

Most of the time when I write to you from a personal place, some time has passed between the event that happened and the present time, meaning I had enough time to think about it and formulate some sense out of it.

Not today. 

This post, more than anything, is simply a recognition of how damn hard motherhood can be sometimes.